April 17

[VISUAL ART] Mr. Splash starring Nicolas Cage and a bottle of ketchup

Nicolas Cage has been making increasingly erratic and poor movie choices for some time now. Back in the 90s, for the now defunct artlick.com project, myself and my friend Dave had this mad idea of creating marketing materials & collateral for a buddy road-trip movie, where Cage would star as himself opposite a bottle of ketchup. We wanted it to be just odd enough to seem almost a plausible choice Cage would make. We really got into it and the final mugshot movie poster Dave created up above is an absolute gem – a proper work of art that belongs on a wall – and I would dearly love to see this movie. Presenting Mr Splash…

 

The idea began I think over lunch one day when we spilled some ketchup on the table and Dave took a photo of it with our trusty digital camera. Somewhere between that moment and our mild obsession with quirkmeister Nicolas Cage as an actor, grew this idea, which was quite simply one of the most fun creative things we ever brought to life. It spawned such a world for us as we explored it, including a whole backstory and history, as well as a visual identity that we gave a lot of thought to.

We were very interested in getting the right look and feel for this sort of creative project, so it became important to us to test different variations of ideas and styles for the fake film we were constructing. We landed eventually on the teaser poster above, but we did toy with the slightly more cartoonish noir one below for a while, but eventually discarded it.

With the visuals starting to take shape, we spent ages (probably far too long) cooking up names for the cast and crew of the movie. I have very vivid recollections of being very precise and specific about this absurd list of contributors, but that level of detail ultimately helped us bring the creative world it lived in to life. There was a particualr moment of giddiness about deciding the score was written by someone called simply “Barkley”, which somehow was a nod to the legendary composer Vangelis. Which then led to us deciding that Vangelis was actually going to make his debut as an actor in the movie! (alongside a rather eclectic international cast, which you can see in the mugshot poster at the very top of this post)

 

As part of this extensive world building, we then decided to present the archival materials and content from the film on artlick.com as an exclusive peek into the library of self-proclaimed film historian and auteur  (and crushing bore) Raymind Runn, a personal friend of the film’s director. Below is the elaborate, self-indulgent, and deliberately poorly written introduction we used to present Mr. Splash on the website.

There are other fragments that I can unfortunately no longer find, including a memo from the movie producers outlining a series of changes they required in order to complete the financing of the movie to completion – with ludicrous requests like demanding that it be 17% more funny; adding a scene where someone eats sushi, because people love sushi; giving Nicolas Cage or the bottle of ketchup a catchphrase.

Like so many of the things we created for artlick, we really went deep into the details, and went super specific to our own sense of humour, in the hope that others would follow. And if they didnt, that was ok, because we had an absolute blast piecing it together. Which feels like a good rule of thumb in general for most creative endeavours. It will find an audience. Even if it doesn’t, enjoy it. You might end up with something as funny and simultaneously cool as this poster!

April 16

[INSPIRATION] Neil Gaiman on the art of editing

This quote has always resonated deeply with me. As with so many writers, I much prefer rewriting over the act of writing. That first draft of something can be such a tough thing to create, but I love coming back to it and starting to chop away and reshape it into something. Editing is such an artform and if you have trusted friends and fellow artists who you can bounce ideas off in that editing phase, then that is an absolute gift. When it comes to writing, listen carefully to what they say and feel about it. But always keep Neil Gaiman’s words in your mind. If you are hearing regular comments or feedback about a specific section, then clearly there is something going on there that is not connecting with the audience. But only you will have the perfect solution for the thing you are creating. At least that has been my experience.

As a sidenote, many of my friends had been recommending Neil Gaiman to me for ages, and last year I finally took the plunge and read Neverwhere in a few days. I loved his ease with rich details and sharply drawn characters in that quirky fantastical version of London. It was a world I was quickly able to immerse myself in. I found out afterwards it had been written originally as a TV series by Gaiman along with my childhood comedy hero Lenny Henry, so it seemed like the universe was bringing me into a world where many of my heroes congregated in the same corner. I love it when things like that happen.

April 15

[INSPIRATION] Take a leap of faith with your creativity

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Begin it now." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I’ve been thinking about creative patterns and behaviours a lot recently.

So often we follow tried and trusted paths for our creative pursuits. It’s easier. It’s comfortable. It works.

But sometimes it’s worth taking a chance. A risk. Doing something a bit new. A bit unexpected. Something that might even be a bit scary.

And there is never a right time for that. Do it now. Begin it now.

April 12

[INSPIRATION] 7 internet phenomena and slices of musical lunacy you really should witness


The Internet is a curious and marvellous playground of ideas and oddities. Here are 7 of the strangest “musical” YouTube phenomena currently racking up the views right now. Warning, these will worm their way into that part of your brain that refuses to let go of things. I prescribe a lovely strong dose of Wilco to remedy any ill effects. But for now, click and enjoy…

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Interior Crocodile Alligator

Our resident Brownbread Mixtape sketch troupe The Brownbread Players performed a sketch entitled “An Actual Conversation on YouTube” which chronicled a series of real comments and volleys of abuse about this YouTube clip. The sketch got a great response and we even began communicating with some of the commenters mentioned in the clip. We asked them all to send us a clip that summed up YouTube for them and we were sent the remarkable Interior Crocodile Alligator. Our life has basically been complete ever since. So, thank you YouTube commenter “wHeNiPoOpSuMmItDiEs”. You sir, are destined to go to heaven in a Chevrolet Movie Theater…

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Double Rainbow Song

So, this hippy goes out to Yosemite and sees a double rainbow. He decides to film this Double Rainbow and as he does so, he passionately describes the intensity and overwhelming feelings that wash over him. Perhaps he is really in touch with the universe or just hitting the pipe. Either way, it makes for a really funny monologue as he gets more and more into it. 38 million people seemed to think it was amazing too, as the clicks racked up on YouTube. Then, some folks decided to take his ramblings and remix them into an electronic song and , hey presto, the Double Rainbow Song was born. Along similar lines, please take a moment to hear  the remarkable story of Kelly and Antoine Dodson, which was then transformed into a remixed song version that became a massive YouTube phenomenon (ca. 77 million views), culminating in Antoine Dodson himself singing the song on the televised BET Awards on American television.

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Chocolate Rain

117 million people have watched this dude, Tay Zonday, sing his original song “Chocolate Rain”. Yes, 117 MILLION! Nothing more than a dude singing a song in front of a mic, pausing to take a breath occasionally (which he describes in his textual running commentary), a few cutaways of a piano being played. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is it. Utterly baffling but a true internet phenomenon. I hope he is loaded now and bathes in big tubs of chocolate rain every night.

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Friday – Rebecca Black

Unless you have been living under a digital rock for the past few years, you will have heard about the runaway success of this irritatingly catchy and preposterously bad song, Friday, as “performed” (auto-tuned) by 13 year old Rebecca Black. Perhaps more embarrassingly, the song was actually written by a pair of grown men, not the tuneless kid herself. Yet, in the space of approximately three weeks it picked up almost 70 million views on YouTube (now a whopping 120 million). So, clearly they are doing something right, or we are all doing something very wrong. It has also, in true internet fashion, spawned several parodies, reinterpretations and remixes; the best of which is undoubtedly this genius Bob Dylan version. Then, of course, Bob Dylan wrote every popular song ever recorded for the past 35 years. Every single one.

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Trololo Man

This dude, Edward Khil, wanders around with a permagrin singing “trololololololo”. The natural result is that millions of people click and share it. Don’t try to understand why. As Clooney said in O Brother Where Art Thou: “It’s a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart”.

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2001 A Space Odyssey : School orchestra performance

A student orchestra called Portsmouth Sinfonia comprised of non-musicians (no shit!) got together to perform Thus Spake Zarathustra, the atmospheric, portentous opening to Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece 2001. Their version is not quite as good as the original. In fact, it is better, but for more comedic reasons. At least the drummer got it right.

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Badger Badger Badger

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger…. An absolutely bizarre (and ultimately irritating) video featuring a series of animated badgers doing a mini-workout followed by images of a snake and a toadstool. It really cannot be described or fully understood without seeing it. Over 8 million people were prepared to sit through it. It spawned the infinitely superior Christmas Badgers video which features a guest appearance by JC himself and some presents. Hallelujah!

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Dude singing Carmina Burana and smoking in the shower.

Basically this guy is a total legend.

April 11

[WRITING] The Sentence

I love words. It is the world I am most happy in. And poetry is my favourite written form.

Some years ago I was asked to perform some poetry at a spoken word night in Dublin and I decided to play with the very idea of writing itself, and the end result was this poem that toys with ideas of writing and language.

It was a poem I spent many hours crafting and rewriting. The end result is a poem I really love.

the sentence

I'm trapped inside this poem, sentenced to burn in here alone.
Which means that for the next 30 lines it’s my unwanted home.

High time then to plot my escape clause from this overheated verse shaped box,
starting by making a ladder from dangling participles and some missing socks;
glue it together with predicates deconstructed carefully in their prime,
then bind up each end with the finest scented romantic metred rhymes.
Then, step by step deconstruct it and hide it under my pillowy upper case,
then for a while bide my time, take a beat ... every sentence needs its space.

Then as the following few unfolding lines presently grow tense and taut,
the next phase of my escape plan begins out in the yard of discarded thoughts.
I assume a pseudonym and then flip the silent “P” around
like a spoonerism and use it to dig a tunnel down underground.
Then with one hand scatter colons carefully to cover up the hole,
with the other I dust pocketfuls of unusèd accents that I stole.

Then back inside the structure to set in motion this poet’s plans,
but first I kneel, dot my eyes and cross my tees with shaking hands.
So it begins like this, I divert attention by twisting palindromes inside out,
"Name no one man, Madam I'm adam"; I roar out loud and shout.
No you're not", says the onrushing guard, pushes me back up 'gainst the margin hard,
he grabs an @ symbol, calls for back up, the grammar police are now alarmed.

Seizing my moment, I carpet diem, pull the rug from under them all the way,
make haste, cast my ladder out, soon running across thoughts faster'n I can say
"See you later poem, I'm heading for the margin,
Where sweet letters bulge and new ideas barge in!
Scrambling letters in my wake now, dashing towards the hyphenated end-goal,
In I slide footers first through the peering freedom shaped escape hole.

Once free of the poem and outside those lines I'll assume the case to be,
that I’m in a position to begin a subjective textually liberated life that’s free.
And as memories of the sour sentence fade into a sweet footnoted tome,
I will rewrite all my cold first drafts, no longer trapped inside this poem.

[Kalle Ryan – 12 Jan 2010]

April 2

[VISUAL ART] Charcoal portrait by my father

Spotted this the other night as I was flicking through one of my dad’s final sketchbooks. To me this sketch is a haiku that folds a whole universe into it. This was the last time he drew me and it is a great snapshot of a fond moment. Drawn on a sweltering humid day in the apartment I was subletting in Brooklyn. The air conditioner was broken, so we cracked open some ice cold Red Stripe beers we picked up at the Jamaican corner store. He sketched with charcoals while I played Bob Dylan songs badly. His hand starting to tremor already, but his eye still keen, and the lines still quite certain. By the next summer when he came to visit me, he was unable to draw any more due to his illness and he filled his days going to the Met and the MoMA to marvel at the masters instead. Happy times.

March 25

[AUDIO] The Brownbread Mixtape Podcast

I adore the podcast format and I’m an avid fan of all audio longform storytelling. I’ll do a post at another time about some of my favourite podcasts, but this post is about the brief spell where I produced a podcast of my own. It was motivated by two creative impulses. Firstly I wanted to test the waters of hosting and interviewing in this type of creative format – I have facilitated and MCd plenty of live shows in my time, but its such a very different skill and discipline to interview artfully in this longer audio format, so a really great thing to sharpen the skills on. And secondly I wanted to showcase some of the world class musicians and writers that had treaded the stage at the brownbread mixtape.

The format for the first chunk of episodes was always the same. Invite a great musician or poet along to talk about their creative process, a bit of their life story, and then have them select some favourite clips from the brownbread mixtape down the years, as well as perform an in-studio session featuring an original and a cover. And what a series of gems we managed to record. They are all embedded in the YouTube player above and I urge you to give them all a listen, with episodes featuring Pearse McGloughlin, EleventyFour, Colm Keegan, Justin Grounds, Fergus Costello and Lindsey Ryan

Now that time has passed I can see a few things I would do differently. I would certainly be more judicious in editing down the episodes so that they zip along a little bit. Perhaps I was too enamoured with keeping everything in, rather than making it a snappier show each time that might appeal to a wider audience. It would have been something that a slightly objective producer would have been able to spot right away. I’d also nudge myself to be quiet more often and just let the interviewee speak. Far too often in the earliest episodes I felt the need to say “yeah” or “mmm hmm”, when silence would have served the whole experience better. But I did learn from that and the later episodes were better. There is loads to love about them. I really dig the intro music / title sequence that Enda Roche cut together. And we managed to capture some absolutely stunning in-studio songs, especially some of the cover versions (Pearse McGloughlin and Lindsey Ryan are real standouts)

The latter chunk of podcasts veered away from that original format primarily because I simply didnt have time to record and produce the show any more. And then an artist I was acquainted with, Eamonn McLoughlin, had produced a documentary radio series for a local station in Ireland, and he had nowhere to house or archive the episodes. Given that many of the episodes covered artists and writers who had performed at the brownbread mixtape, it felt fitting to put them out under our banner. Some of the interviews are really interesting with top drawer Irish writers, and I even make an appearance on one of them chatting about the brownbread mixtape.

I would love to return to the podcast format and have a few ideas bubbling away, so watch this space. In the meantime, have a listen and let me know what you think.

 

March 12

[WRITING] The Hole There In The Floor – a poem

This is a poem I started writing when I lived in New York and was starting to forge a really keen interest in poetry, and specifically performance poetry. The poem was supposed to be a snapshot of the punters I saw in a bar in Manhattan called Tom & Jerry’s. But the original draft was a bit too angry and so it remained unfinished until I came back to Ireland, and after a night out in The Stag’s Head pub one night (which would later be the home of The Brownbread Mixtape), I dusted off the poem and finished the thing. It’s probably one of my poems that I am most happy with, as it captures a proper bit of the fire and melancholy I saw in those folks in the bars caught between their dreams and the drink. Some time after I had written it I was approached by Tom and Andy from the truly brilliant Storymap website, who asked me to perform it in The Stags Head so they could film it for inclusion on the site. I was only too happy to oblige and the end result is a lovely document of a poem and a place.

March 9

[WRITING] A series of letters to major drinks manufacturers where I unsuccessfully seek sponsorship for poetry



For almost a decade I have curated and hosted The Brownbread Mixtape, a themed variety show that showcases the best in music, spoken word poetry, and sketch comedy. One of the many shows was centred around the the theme of “drinking”. So, in the spirit of mischievousness (and to generate comedy material for the purposes of hosting the show) I fired off a series of letters to the makers of a variety of alcoholic beverages seeking sponsorship for myself and/or The Brownbread Mixtape. Below are the speculative and outlandishly stupid letters that I actually sent to the various companies in question. While the letters were ultimately absurd and silly in tone, at the heart of them lies perhaps a serious point about the lack of funding for many sectors of the arts. Only one of the companies ever came back with a response – Bulmers cider – and they seemed to get it was a joke, thanking me for the opportunity but gracefully declining. I am a Bulmers drinker for life as a result. Guinness sent back a generic response saying they would delete my email immediately as they cannot receive pitches for commercials, as they presumably could get sued for stealing ideas. None of the others ever responded, yet I still hold out hope like a drunken Friday night reveler. I hope that you enjoy reading them and take them in the silly spirit(s) they were written!

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#1 Devil’s Bit Cider

Dear Devil’s Bit

How’s things?

I am writing to you first and foremost as a big fan of your cider. It’s gorgeous.

Secondly I am writing to you as curator of a popular Dublin gig called “the brownbread mixtape” and as an award-winning performance poet with a small, dedicated following. In other words, I am a minor celebrity who has been described as quite good looking with a good foothold in “the scene”

Right, lets get down to business. There’s no way of saying this without sounding insensitive, so I’m just going to put it out there unfiltered. Your cider has a bit of a reputation for being drunk by pissheads and wasters. More people have your cider for breakfast than dinner basically.

So, I’ll cut to the chase. I am looking for sponsorship to further my artistic career and in return I am offering you the opportunity to leverage my skills and celebrity status to up your profile in a new segment of the cider consumption market. The arts. I would have no ethical or moral issues with this because your cider is delicious and I am not one of those “I am in it for the art” kind of whingers.

I have loads of ideas on how we could make this sponsorship work but here is one, just off the top of my head. You’ve probably seen Bulmers laughable new ads with celebrity economist David McWilliams. Now, I am a personal friend of the younger, cooler celebrity economist Ronan Lyons and I am sure I could convince him to be a part of a more edgy ad campaign for Devil’s Bit. We could poke fun at those pricks at Bulmers whilst maybe throwing in a few sound financial predictions while we’re at it. I would leave that part up to Ronan.

I would love to work with you to develop an advertising campaign and sign a pact with Devil’s Bit. Failing that, I would love some complimentary bottles of cider.

cheers
Kalle

[Note: The economist Ronan Lyons was even kind enough to share the original link to the letters on his Twitter account, so this still has the potential to happen. Come on Devil’s Bit, do the right thing]

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#2 Buckfast Tonic Wine

Dear Buckfast brothers,

I know that you are an order of Benedictine monks so I will try to keep this email quiet.

My name is Brother K and I come from a secret order of Irish monks called “Ar Meisce”. Every month we have a service and gathering in the ancient, sacred chapel upstairs in the “Head of the Stag temple” in Dublin city.  As we have fallen on hard times and you seem to be thriving, thanks in no small part to an abundance of students, hipsters and rip-roaring alcoholics who chug your wine like the apocalypse is coming, we are approaching you to be our financial benefactors and patrons for the remainder of our days. We are looking for 10 grand per month to maintain our current standard of praying and serving the Lord.

While we cannot force you to do this, we can only say that it would be what Christ would have done. And failure to do so will most likely condemn you to eternal damnation or some such variation on that theme.

God bless you brothers and may your wine always be fortified

Brother K

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# 3 Cristal Champagne

Dear Cristal,

Yes yes y’all. / Sippin Cristal , you can call me Kal. /
In Dublin 4 they call for more / Pints of Heino, then champers / SCORE! //
The bubbles are nice, the bubbles are nice / The Cristal bubbles at a nice nice price.

This is Kalle Ryan the poet and that is a little sample of some sweet new lyrics I am working on for my upcoming crossover into the hip-hop world. I will go by MC Kalle Greenz . At present I am a Z-grade celebrity in Ireland who performs poetry and hosts a savage night called the brownbread mixtape.

Now, I know you had a strong market share amongst rappers, hip-hop artists and other people who derive their consumer information from lyrics formulated by materialistic celebrities in the past. I also know that your CEO made some silly borderline racist remarks in an interview with The Economist in 2006 which led to a big drop off in your hip-hop purchasing demographic. But I am here today to bring that fizz back to your bubbly sales with a new hip-hop audience. In exchange for a 7 figure sponsorship sum from you, I will drink as much Cristal as is humanly possible. I will even do this at public events such as The Brownbread Mixtape, where we will serve Cristal at every table (you will pick up the tab for this as a separate charge).

I will then write, direct, edit and produce viral videos for Cristal with my posse  of trained actors and writers, The Brownbread Players, which includes some serious  ballers and hustlers. Their CV reads like a “Best of Irish TV and Film” like Ros na Run, Meteor ads, eMobile, Sky TV, Kilkenny Arts Festival and the voice of directory inquiries. I have a few ideas for the viral video but I won’t pop my creative cork here just yet.

Look, you’re busy people, I’m a busy person. Let’s not yank each others’ chain here. Give me an answer in 24 hours if this is your bag. If not I will pimp my hip-hop credentials to Courvoisier or some other brand that has benefitted from being associated with a thuggish gangster lifestyle

Maximum respek

MC Kalle Greenz

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#4 Smirnoff Ice

Dear Smirnoff Ice,

This may shock you but your drink is manky. I remember one night I spilt some on the ground and I thought, “the poor ground”. But look, I have an idea that might give you some credibility and make you be the drink choice of people other than gobshites.

How would you feel about sponsoring a bunch of layabout actors, comedians, musicians and arty types? Doesn’t sound that appealing, does it? What if I told you that those people are in fact the wildly talented components in the brownbread mixtape, a monthly indie gig sensation in Dublin city. Between the live show and our award winning web presence you would have literally a hundred people who could be duped into drinking your sugary boozy gargle. Give it some thought. Considering you have a ridiculous amount of money for publicity and marketing, why not shower some of it on this idea?

Get in touch if you’re serious about not being the laughing stock of the drinks fridge

cheers
Kalle

P.S. I’ve seen your vociferous denials about the whole “getting iced” phenomenon but you’re not fooling anyone. Everyone knows you’re behind it. You’re some chancers!

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#5 Jose Cuervo Tequila

Dear Jose,

You know and I know that no one has ever come away from a night drinking your Tequila saying: “That was such a mellow uneventful night full of pacifism and I really feel amazing today”

So, here’s a radical idea. Give me money to run a cool arts night in Dublin where your brand would be prominently featured and in return I will cut out the middle man and pour  bottles of your tequila all over the bathroom floor and along the streets of Rathmines and near the Bernard Shaw pub.

Basically, we will also plug the hell out of your tequila and pretend that it isn’t a foul concoction.

I know what you’re thinking. This guy is crazy. But I might just be brilliant.

Try me

Kalle

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#6 Guinness

Dear Guinness,

I am writing to inform you of an amazing opportunity that awaits you… in this very letter.

Can you guess what it is?

Yep, you’re absolutely right, I have an idea for an ad for you.

I am a published poet, so feel free to heighten your expectations at this early stage in our correspondence

Picture it, black & white footage of three barmen, moustaches, white shirts, black slacks, black ties, nice leather shoes. Not slip ons. All of them walking down Exchequer street  in slo-mo. Each of them kicking an empty keg that’s rolling in front of them. In turn each one shouts “Bring out your dead!” As they pass pubs they’re joined by more barmen, similarly dressed, each one joining the parade and kicking an empty keg of their own until it becomes a parade of them up O’Connell street. Their backs suddenly and unexpectedly catch fire. The flames are deep orange and reds but the rest of the scene is in black & white. Cut to a pint of Guinness settling in a graveyard. It suddenly catches fire.

Caption: Guinness. It’s deadly.

All of this is beautifully scored by a song by Elder Roche. He is a deadly Dublin musician with a great hat and excellent songwriting skills. Plus I need to include him in this because we kinda came up with the idea together one night after a few scoops in the Stag’s Head. Although if we decide to shaft him we could maybe get a Massive Attack song instead. I love their stuff and anything in slow-mo looks deadly when you have a Massive Attack tune pumping over it. In fact, screw Elder, lets go with that.

If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, then I am happy to sit down with you to discuss the possibility of me selling out completely as a poet and accepting sponsorship from you. I have been supporting you for years now, so I would be only delighted to receive your patronage. And cash.

cheers
Kalle Ryan

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#7 Bulmers Cider

Dear Bulmers

How’s it going? My name is Kalle Ryan. Remember that name, it will become increasingly important as this letter goes on.

Ok, first things first. I love cider. Correction, I love your cider. Clonmel chardonnay we call it.

Second thing. I understand the whole Bulmers / Magners distinction. A few folks I know are still confused by it but they’re idiots, I totally get it. It’s historical and political, like everything in this country.

Ok third thing. I am a poet. Look me up on YouTube for cool samples of my undoubted talent. I have been a bit of an anti-establishment type of writer up until now and all about doing things for the love of it and for art’s sake. But I am basically sick of it. There’s no money in it and let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger.

So, this leads me to my proposition. I, Kalle Ryan, am offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity to partner up with me to be the first ever officially sponsored Irish poet. Loads of poets and writers and other layabouts have drank silly amounts of cider during their life. But how many of them were actually sponsored to drink that cider or write their poems? None of them, that’s how many.

Picture it now. Bulmers presents: Kalle Ryan. How cool does that sound? I’ll tell you. Very cool, that’s how cool. Provided you threw in a bit of extra wedge I would even be willing to change my name to ‘Bulmers presents Kalle Ryan’ and happily wear Bulmers t-shirts, caps and that kind of promotional tat all of the time.

Look I know you have McWilliams doing your ads at the moment, but let me give you some financial advice, he is a prat, a waste of money and people aren’t buying more cider because of him. I can do poems about cider and we can have people dancing in outrageous attire. In an orchard if you like. That’s the kind of shit people who drink cider absolutely love.

Give it some thought and let me know.

yours sincerely
Bulmers presents Kalle Ryan

P.S. Is it true that you relaunched the Pear cider because the first version gave people the scutters?